team small boobs with a big butt.
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
y’all bleed outta your vaginas
once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene
you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS
and yet you just go about your daily business like
people with vaginas are fucking badass.
people with vaginas
what are they called again?
They’re called people with vaginas because not everyone with a vagina is a woman.
whoop there it is
YOU KNOW YOURE IN TOO DEEP WHEN YOU PICTURE YOURSELF SNUGGLING IN BED NEXT TO THEM OR WHEN YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING FUN AND WISH THEY WERE THERE TO SHARE THAT MOMENT WITH YOU OR THE WORST IS WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING AND THINK OH THEY WOULD LIKE THAT
I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood
I mean seriously
what do you think we do every month
THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING
AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON
I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh
Well now we do
OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING
So I wore this dress to school today, and almost all my teachers talk to me about it, luckily, I didn’t get in trouble. As you can see it’s open at the top, showing my upper chest. I brought a denim jacket with me, but I couldn’t wear it in 80F weather.
I wanted to talk to you guys about one of my teachers in particular. I was sitting in class reading, not wearing the jacket. She publicly called me out on it and said, “it’s distracting for the boys if you wear that. You’re impairing their learning.” I just kinda sat there, feeling my face get hot because of the publicity of the comment. After a little while, I still didn’t have my jacket on. She asked me again to put it on. I then asked why. She answered with the same thing. I then proceeded to stand up and say, “Then stop acting like it’s okay for boys to look, It’s 80 degrees, I’m not wearing that jacket.” The rest of the class was silent, then a couple girls, and some boys started clapping.
I thought I’d share that with you, because no one else will listen to me.
good for you. you’re freakin adorable!