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Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

so let me get this straight:

mallorylrc:

sparklyelegance:

rawrgoesjerran:

double06:

y’all bleed outta your vaginas

once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene

you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS

and yet you just go about your daily business like

image

people with vaginas are fucking badass.

people with vaginas 

what are they called again?

They’re called people with vaginas because not everyone with a vagina is a woman.

whoop there it is

yall-mothafuckas-need-misha:

badassbitchfromhades:

freckledtrekkie:

doctorsherlocklokison:

captainmjolnir:

I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood

I mean seriously

what do you think we do every month

THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING

AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON

I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh

image

Well now we do

(Source: gameofbooze)

effrons:

OMG MY 17 YEAR OLD COUSIN HAS A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS OVER RIGHT NOW AND I COULD HEAR THEM LISTENING TO FERGALICIOUS AND SINGING SO I BANGED ON THE WALL AND SHOUTED “I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS” AND THEN ONE OF THEM GOES “SHIT WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SHE WAS HOME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE WAS LIKE “NO ITS A PART OF OUR VIDEO GAME” AND THEN ANOTHER ONE SHOUTS “DUDE WHY THE FUCK WOULD FERGALICIOUS BE IN A VIDEO GAME” IM CRYING

marymarymaryyea1:

liliththeenderborn:

So I wore this dress to school today, and almost all my teachers talk to me about it, luckily, I didn’t get in trouble. As you can see it’s open at the top, showing my upper chest. I brought a denim jacket with me, but I couldn’t wear it in 80F weather.
I wanted to talk to you guys about one of my teachers in particular. I was sitting in class reading, not wearing the jacket. She publicly called me out on it and said, “it’s distracting for the boys if you wear that. You’re impairing their learning.” I just kinda sat there, feeling my face get hot because of the publicity of the comment. After a little while, I still didn’t have my jacket on. She asked me again to put it on. I then asked why. She answered with the same thing. I then proceeded to stand up and say, “Then stop acting like it’s okay for boys to look, It’s 80 degrees, I’m not wearing that jacket.” The rest of the class was silent, then a couple girls, and some boys started clapping.
I thought I’d share that with you, because no one else will listen to me.

good for you. you’re freakin adorable!
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iPhone 4
ISO
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Focal Length
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marymarymaryyea1:

liliththeenderborn:

So I wore this dress to school today, and almost all my teachers talk to me about it, luckily, I didn’t get in trouble. As you can see it’s open at the top, showing my upper chest. I brought a denim jacket with me, but I couldn’t wear it in 80F weather.

I wanted to talk to you guys about one of my teachers in particular. I was sitting in class reading, not wearing the jacket. She publicly called me out on it and said, “it’s distracting for the boys if you wear that. You’re impairing their learning.” I just kinda sat there, feeling my face get hot because of the publicity of the comment. After a little while, I still didn’t have my jacket on. She asked me again to put it on. I then asked why. She answered with the same thing. I then proceeded to stand up and say, “Then stop acting like it’s okay for boys to look, It’s 80 degrees, I’m not wearing that jacket.” The rest of the class was silent, then a couple girls, and some boys started clapping.

I thought I’d share that with you, because no one else will listen to me.

good for you. you’re freakin adorable!

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